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Bryan and Blue

Late Night TV

So there's a tornado watch out right now. It's 1am. And I'm up. Still.

Been a long day today...preparing for my move (a little, ok?), worked my eight hour work day, the standard.

Thursdays always seem to be a little long for me. I'm usually not into bed until 12 or so after visiting with Blue online. But tonight’s a little later for me.

(THUNDER)

So...I got to thinking...bout this whole storm thing going on right outside my sliding glass door.

First of all...I love storms. Give ‘em to me. I'm kinda a weather geek of sort. I dig this stuff. Too bad Corey took the camera with him to college. I'd get some GREAT lightning shots tonight.

But back to the storms.

You know, when it comes to these kind of events, lots of people are caught off guard. I mean, have no real plan. Living here in the Mid-West, it's tornado country. We usually get the standard 8-10 warnings a year, this year being about the norm, I suppose. But still, people are always caught not being ready.

Not having enough batteries. Or a flashlight that works. A radio in case of power outage. General stuff.

Not me. I'm decked out in FULL TORNADO WARNING GEAR (picture it, Skip!). Got my boots on, my BatMan utility belt, my surf board (in case of flooding).

Seriously, though. Time for the parallel. Ready?

When you KNOW that there is going to be severe weather in your part of the country...like EVERY YEAR...why on earth can you not be prepared for it?

The same ideal is true about your relationship with God. And end of times.

Are you ready? Got YOUR utility belt?

I ready. Hope you are too. =]

Just some after 1am ramblings. You get the message.

Ok...off to stand in the rain. In tribute to Chill's video today. Love ya brother!


Love. Peace. Harmony.

Bryan

My Son, My Hero

And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you


My son and I have a very unique relationship.

I have always allowed both of my children personal freedom. What I mean to say is that I never "push" beliefs or circumstances on them. I give them the freedom to choose what paths they want in life. Of course I am a responsible parent. I never would put them in danger or harm. But just the same, I've always felt that the best of life's lessons are learned through personal successes and failures. And believe me, they have experienced both.

"Sure, son. You can stay up and watch television. Just know that 6:30 am comes early. And you CANNOT miss school under ANY circumstances."

You get the gist of it.

So - the reason for this post.

My son was a believer in Christ. Throughout his childhood, he was always the first one to volunteer for anything. Spending time at the soup kitchen. Helping children faced with adversity. You know...too good to be true. But he was.

When he "graduated" from 8th grade, Corey won almost every award there was to win. Best in Science, Best in Math...I'm here to tell you...it was getting a little embarrassing hearing my son's name being called every five minutes to come up and receive his award. While it WAS gratifying, I started to feel a little sorry for the other students. I'm sure you can't blame me for feeling this way.

But the MOST important award he won that night was "Most Christian". Corey and my daughter Kirsten went to Catholic school. So with this being said, the Bible and His word was a part of their everyday life. And my son practiced it. Everyday. (BTW - my daughter does, too...)

Then Corey's freshman year started. He was doing very well at his Catholic high school. Straight A student. With a personality even! Teachers and students alike loved being with Corey. And Corey LOVED high school.

One day during late Winter semester, Corey came home with a pain. One that's very difficult to explain, but I will try nonetheless.

Corey hurt in his testicles. Now, if you a man reading this...you immediately doubled up.

The pain was intense. He often described it as if someone was constantly kicking him there. I'm having difficulty even typing this, because I can only imagine the feeling. Which would be extremely uncomfortable.

He was diagnosed with Epididymitis. Which is an infection in the tubing of your testicles. I began to learn so much about a mans body immediately. I wanted to help in any way that I could.

What I did learn, is that there is no cure for his type of Epididymitis. He would have to learn to manage the pain. I tried everything. From alternative medicine (acupuncture, message, aroma therapy) to standard medicines (morphine, anatryptaline, et all), nothing was helping. He lay awake all day and night, and all I could do was hold his hand...and pray. Which, of course, I did.

Corey went through 6 ultrasounds. 3 MRIs. And two trips to Oklahoma City to see a doctor that had treated several patients with the same disease. This doctor started a case study on Corey.

Through all of this...I started seeing Corey lose something that at one time was a staple in his life. He started losing his faith. At least on the outside. I can remember one specific night waking up to him crying in the living room. It was about four in the morning. And I overheard Corey asking God "Why?" He was 14 years old. He was wanting to die. He repeated it over and over. "Please take me!" "Why me? I've been so good!" "I want to die right now!"

I held him. I gave him his pain killers. I gave him the anti-depressants the doctors prescribed. He finally went to sleep.

This went on. And on.

So I had been going to this support site, looking for answers from other men who suffer the same fate. Men of all ages. I had been posting Corey's story for the rest of the world to see. And to get a little comfort from the outside world.

Since only about 50,000 men worldwide suffer from this, there is not enough support from the medical community, nor the pharmaceutical community to put funding into research. So many more men suffer today. But not my Corey.

You see...I had been praying all this time. And one night, an email arrived from someone who had seen one of my posts. This gentleman had the same condition. And found a doctor in Chicago who had performed a microsurgery on him. One that was not a published one. It was trial and error. And the man had been cured. With little side-effects.

I felt I had nothing to lose. So I talked to Corey about it. He agreed. And two surgeries later...his pain was gone. Every now and then, when stressed, a little bit of the pain comes back, but my son is back to living again.

For the nearly three years he was bed-bound, he lost his high school. He lost his social life. And I thought he had lost his faith.


I kept praying.


So in the last year (since he's been cured), he's managed to graduate from high school, and was accepted with scholarship to Ohio University. He is studying Music Production. And I know he'll do well. I'm so proud.

All of this time, I never told him not to lose his faith. I mean, I continued to pray for him. Of course Jesus is a part of my everyday life, and I was always around my son. I secretly hoped it would maybe "rub-off" on him. LOL

My son calls me everyday from college. Our relationship is unique. We are best friends. Other fathers are envious. I don't blame them. Maybe it all goes back to the "making their own decisions" thing. I don't know.

So today, my son called. As usual.


He told me he went to a Bible study today.


I'll let that sink in.


Yeah. It DID feel good. Didn’t it?

Corey told me that he never lost faith. Ever.

Then he thanked me.

For not "pushing" him too hard. And letting him come back to Jesus on his own.

It's easier to take ownership in something when you're not forced to do it. And I always knew he'd be back. Now he is.

Bless you Corey.

Thank you for making me so proud of who you are. And where you've been. And where you're going.

You're my hero, Corey.


I love you, son.


Pop

The latest and greatest!

I can hardly believe how much time has gone by since the last time Bryan or I wrote. Especially me!! So much has gone on this summer and we haven't shared any of it with you. Let's see, my boys (Joshua and Jonathan) spent the month of July in Georgia with my parents. Kirsten (Bryan's daughter) got to spend 3 weeks in Georgia with Bryan's sister Suzy. I got to take a week off and spend it with my guys in Georgia before I drove home. While I was there, I got to meet Kirsten and Suzy and Hannah (Suzy's daughter) for the first time!! It was incredible! It was like we had know each other forever! The next weekend I flew back to GA. for our multiclass reunion which was awesome!! Bryan and I decided NOT to have a big wedding but rather to get married on the beach in Georgia with only our immediate family there. And of course, Chill Pastor will be officiating!! There was never any doubt about that!! And we set a date: March 29, 2008. Yaay!! I can hardly wait! I think that gets it for June and July. Now for upcoming events!

School starts for both Kirsten and Joshua and Jonathan on the 27th. Kirsten will be a junior, Josh will be in 8th grade and Jon will be in 4th. I'm not real sure what classes Kirstie is taking or if she's ready for school to start back, but I do know this...she is one smart cookie and I know she's going to have an awesome year!! I am seriously hoping that Joshua will decide to show what he is truly capable of and not have another year like last year. It was a constant battle!! Josh is taking a couple of cool electives (spanish and theatre arts) so hopefully he'll enjoy his classes a bit better. Jonathan will be at a new school this year but he's very excited. We found out who his teacher is the other day and he's excited about going to open house later this week. It's a brand new school so he's anxious to get inside and snoop it all out. Bryan's son, Corey, leaves for Ohio University on the 30th. He is psyched and ready to head out on his own. Bryan is getting a little sentimental about his son heading off to college but is very excited for him. Corey wants to be a record producer which I think is very cool!! Music runs deep in the veins of the Poindexter men!!!

Bryan is moving to Pearland the first weekend of November. 77 days and counting!! I move into our new 3 bedroom apartment at the end of September so I have a month to get it ready before he moves in. I can not wait to begin my life with Bryan. He is such a God send. He has so completely changed my world that I can not even begin to express the love that I feel for him. God knew exactly what and who I needed in my life and I am thankful every single day for the blessing of Bryan. He loves the Lord with all his heart and he shares his faith and the Lord's leading everyday. He is amazing and a constant example of who I want to be!! Hopefully, he'll be along soon and share a few of his insites. I love reading what God places in his heart to share!!

I hope this finds you all doing well. I plan on not being gone so long. I'm going to just start writing whatever is on my heart and try to keep y'all posted on the latest happenings in the Poindexter/Toruno family. I send my love to each of you.

Until next time.....sweet dreams and God bless you!!

Anybody Warming Up Down There?

Ok so last night Bobby Cox calls for Bob Wickman in the ninth to "nail it down" for Tim Hudson. Huddy pitched a GREAT game against the Twins. 7+ innings. 3 K's. 1 walk. 2 hits. AWESOME. I've been concerned lately about Timmy. His last few outings were a little less to be desired. But he seems to have gotten back the form he had from earlier this season. Whew!

So, anyway. Blue and I are watching the game together. I still sit in amazement that she is a Braves fan. On top of that, she really knows her stuff! Every game we watch together, she'll say something that girls are not supposed to say while watching a Braves game.

OTHER GIRL - "YAY! He threw the baseball, and that other guy with the bat hit it!"

MY BLUE - "Man, if Francoeur would just go with the pitch, he'd have a sure double off the right field wall!"

OTHER GIRL - "Do they sell peanuts at the game?"

MY BLUE - "Bobby needs to intentionally walk this guy to put a force on at second. Watch, he'll do it.

OTHER GIRL - "That guy's cute!" (NOTE - Blue SOMETIMES qualifies for this entry as well, but for the sake of this blog, I exclude her from this statement)

MY BLUE - "I'm so glad Chipper's back from the DL. The lineup really takes a hit without him in it."


You get the point.


So - we both see Wickman warming up in the eighth when I say to Blue...

"PERFECT! WICKMAN'S UP! I CAN'T BELIEVE BOBBY IS GOING TO THROW THIS GAME AWAY!"

Blue, the eternal optimist (you have to be if you wanted to survive through the 80's as a Braves fan) says to me..."NOW YOU JUST QUIT IT! He's pitching much better. He really is! He’s gonna come in, and nail it down for Huddy."


...right. (Insert smart-alick sound effect now)


The banter goes back and forth throughout the entire 9th inning. Blue and me. Back and forth. She's starting to get a little upset at my demeanor. Seriously. I can tell. But I had to keep it going. After all, he WAS blowing the save.

One out and six batters later - the save was blown. Just like I had predicted. yay. go bravos.



Sigh.



Now that a few hours have passed...I got to thinking about the game last night. And how we can look at what happened and apply it to how we live our life everyday. (I'm like that. Sometimes it drives people "batty", but whatever...)


Life throws us "curves" everyday. Sometimes we need to "take a pitch" to see what the offering is. (I can't STAND it when Francoeur swings at the first pitch...AUGH!) It's too easy to judge folks and situations these days. We look at how people dress, act, speak, etc. and automatically decide whether or not this is acceptable to our lifestyle. It's too easy to fall into that trap. But we all do. Sad but true.

I posted earlier about the clothes I wear. Sometimes, people look at me and decide really quickly that I must not be a man of God. This is SO untrue. Just because I act/look the way I do, doesn't mean I don't follow the Book.

And to tie this up into a neat little bow for you...

Cox will bring Wickman in again tonight probably. They face the Indians (Wickman's old team) in Cleveland. Wickman will get another chance to save a game. Just like all of us. We get a chance everyday to be saved...and sometimes we blow it. Sometimes we don't. The coolest thing about God is he continues to give us a chance everyday. And just like Bobby Cox won't lose faith in Bob Wickman, God never loses faith in us. He'll keep calling for us in the 9th. This is ULTIMATE! Some people consider this job security. I call it Job ( http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Bible,_King_James,_Job ) security.

So it's our responsibility to "get ahead in the count".

"My love is strong enough to last when things are rough"

Love. Peace. Harmony.

Bryan

It's been TWO MONTHS?!?!

...seriously. Wow, talk about dropping the ball. I've pulled a Bill Buckner.

Just remember this...

Bill Buckner was a career .289 hitter (not bad) that led the National League in batting in 1980. He was an All-Star in 1981. And led his league in AB/SO Ratio four times! I could go on, but you get the point, I'm sure.

So much to catch up on...so little time. Work beckons (ewww). As the months creep slowly towards summer, the national Pepsi intake index grows. Which always means my work week grows.

Growing with Pepsi is good and bad. My arms grow. This is good. My paycheck grows. This is good. My ego grows (because I'm the BEST 2nd shift merchandiser in the city...YAY ME!). This is good?

My back pain grows. This is bad. I see Blue a little less. This is bad. I spend less time with my younguns. This is bad?

So, with this being said...it's been a really busy time for me the last couple of months. I know, I know. This is no excuse. Considering the life my pal Chill Pastor leads everyday, he still gets his Blog done. I have no excuse. I'll do better.

So last night me and Blue are chattin'. You know, talking Love. Money. Music. Braves. We HAVE priorities, you know? We've been into this discussion over the last few days about my face. Now when you read that, you freaked, right?

I've had this patch of fur under my lip for sometime now. I can't even remember when I started growing it. I don't grow facial hair very well. I'M STILL A MAN, though. Just have a few defects. Don't we all? 'Cept Chill. And Blue. Ok, now I'm getting too soft....

So anyway, Blue tells me that she kinda wants to see the old Bryan. The one from DHS. Of course, there is NO possible way I could ever give her that wish. I weighed 130 lbs. dipping wet. Drove a beat up VW Beetle (UNC blue, btw). And was ALWAYS a member of the FP. You know, the Fashion Police. Right. (Insert laugh track now, please)

The ONLY thing I could do to "try" to grant this wish, is to shave my "soul patch". Something that has grown very near and dear to me. It's a part of me now. For a while. And I like it. 'Cept the streaks of grey/white in it. That part is TERRIBLE. Other than going to the local Krogers and buying some Just For Men (from the leader in men's hair coloring), there's really nothing I can do about that.

So Blue's gotten to the point of being so tired of hearing me complain about the grey, she suggests shaving. Making my face nakey.

Um. no.

THAT LASTED. five minutes.

So I got myself up from my chair. Went to the bathroom. And ShAvEd.

Now my face is nakey. I have to admit it’s a weird feeling. But I kinda like it.

My kids think I look younger. This is good. There's less time grooming in the morning. This is good. Blue's kids don't care one way or the other. This is good. OH -

Blue likes it. This is GREAT!



Insert Job 6:29 Now. =) (YOU have to look it up. Gives you an excuse to grab that Book for a change)



Ok...so I'm off to work. Yay. The new/old look ready to tackle the world. Wish me luck. My face needs it.

By the way - did I mention that I asked Blue to marry me?

I love you Pup!


Bryan

Matthew 18:35

What do you do when you get hurt by someone? Do you want to hurt him? Do you want to hold it against them? If you said yes to these questions, you are like most folks. Forgiving is something that is unknown to most people.

Why don't people forgive willingly? Here's why, because it is easier to dislike than to forgive. Some people think forgiving is a sign of weakness. It isn’t. To forgive takes courage and extra effort!

So, what is forgiveness? It is a present from a charitable heart. It is not a reward. It is not something that you give to someone based on his good behavior. It’s what you give a person regardless of whether he has deserved it or not. Whether the person has asked for it or not.

Forgiveness is not an occasion, which starts and ends when you say, "I forgive you".

Forgiveness is an act which often takes time. The deeper you’re hurt, the longer it sometimes takes to completely forgive. It is not just the words you say but it is your actions which will show if you've really forgiven.

Why is it necessary? Because it frees you from the weight of resentment and hatred. It takes massive energy to hate and to keep that hate in place. Forgiveness brings freedom whereas revenge is neither sweet nor rewarding; it’s just a hollow feeling.

Hate puts needless stress on your body. It is a well-known fact that anger and hatred can actually make you sick. So many people in the world today really don’t belong in a hospital, because the root of their problem is not physical but is mental. The moment they forgive and let go of their hate they will start to get well.

Another reason why you need to forgive? By not forgiving you actually prevent blessings from flowing to you. The Bible says that before you pray for anything first you must forgive those who have wronged you, and then your Father will forgive you your wrongs. Blessings are closely connected to your forgiving others.

I used to be very cynical about life. I never forgave effortlessly. And at the time I also struggled in every area of my life. Things didn't seem to work out for me. It was as if everything that could go wrong, usually did.

That was until God told me to take a look at my mind-set. I started to forgive those who had wronged me, and everything started to change for the better. It didn't happen immediately. It took a while, but I could tell a difference.

So how do you know when you've really forgiven someone? If after you've forgiven that person you continue to feel a negative sting whenever you think of him or her, well, that means you still have effort to put forth.

If you don't have negative feelings towards that person it means you are free!

Are things not working out in your life, even with you doing all the "right" things? Is it possible that you have reluctance to forgive in your heart? It’s something to ponder!


Get Together



Love is but the song we sing,
And fear's the way we die
You can make the mountains ring
Or make the angels cry
Know the bird is on the wing
And you may not know why
C'mon people now,
Smile on your brother
Ev'rybody get together
Try and love one another right now
Some may come and some may go
We will surely pass
When the one that left us here
Returns for us at last
We are but a moments sunlight
Fading in the grass
C'mon people now,
Smile on your brother
Ev'rybody get together
Try and love one another right now
If you hear the song I sing,
You will understand
You hold the key to love and fear
All in your trembling hand
Just one key unlocks them both
It's there at your command
C'mon people now,
Smile on your brother
Ev'rybody get together
Try and love one another right now
Right now
Right now!